


Silence

by Imperator_Fury



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Dubious Consent, F/M, Obsessive Behavior, Obsessive Kylo Ren, Possessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:15:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28759419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imperator_Fury/pseuds/Imperator_Fury
Summary: A mute girl becomes the target of Kylo Ren's obsessions.*Check Tags.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 70





	1. Chapter 1

1

It was her first day. Emi had just finished training two days ago and now, she was treating Kylo Ren. Nipa, the lead doctor, had been treating him for his injuries for the past week, but now he was well enough that a nurse could care for him sufficiently.

She was volunteered. Hazing, she figured. Everyone else had experienced his volatility, and none were too eager to care for him again if they could sacrifice someone else. And she couldn't exactly voice an opinion one way or another. Though, she wished she could. Her silence often grated on peoples nerves, and she could only imagine the reaction she might get from him.

When she walked in, he was already sitting, shirtless on the bench. Kylo Ren stared stiffly ahead, and though she nearly stopped to stare, suddenly aware that she had never seen his face before, Emi manages to keep herself from doing so. Instead, she focused resolutely on her work: changing his bandages and inspecting his wounds for signs of infection. she could feel him staring the whole time.

Evidently, he enjoyed her silence, because much to her surprise, she was requested specifically the next time he needed medical attention, and the next time, and the next.

She finds herself fixating on different features each time they meet. The arch of his brow. The curve of his nose. The bow in his lips. 

It's strange to have memerized the face of someone she hardly knows.

It was several weeks before he spoke to her.

"Do you wish you could speak?"

His voice is deep. It reverberates through her and she flinches slightly, surprised more than frightened, but still silent.

She works quickly to finish and leaves without a sound.

Walking back to the medical staffs area, she thinks on it. She had found that people often revealed more of their true selves in the silence that her presence forced them to fill. Sometimes that could be horrible, but she liked that it meant she didn't waste her time on someone who was only pretending to be kind.

She only wishes now that she could answer his question.

The kiss is soft, so subtle that if she were not hyper-aware of him, Emi might not have noticed it, just on the inside of her wrist as she had worked on the bandage on his cheek.

She pulled away as though burned, eyes darting to the door, wide open, though no one in sight. He can hear her heartbeat, quick and flighty, like a small bird. This is the longest she's ever looked at him.

"Are you afraid of me?"

Only three days ago, he had nearly killed two troopers in his rage over some miscommunication. He sees it in her mind, as he looks into her eyes, the fleeting image of his anger. Ren breathes deeply, her fear feeding some dark part of his heart while simultaneously saddening him.

He was fascinated by her. Her solemn silence. Her fluttering little heart, her quick and soft touch as she worked. While she avoided looking at him every time she cleaned and bandaged him, he had been silently studying her. He reaches a hand out to her trembling form.

"Come here."

She shifts away slightly, glancing again to the empty doorway.

"Now."

Her eyes cast downward, away from him as she finally, slowly edges forward, until she is just within reach. Once she is, he grabs her arm, pulling her forward softly until she stands between his legs. He lifts her small arms, placing one on either side of his broad shoulders, watching her face.

Lifting his hand, his fingers move across her exposed collar bone, and up to her neck. He applies gentle pressure for a moment, enjoying the feel of her pulse jumping below the surface of that thin layer of skin, before shifting it to the back of her neck, moving her hair out of the way as he leans forward and runs the tip of his nose along the soft slope of her neck and jaw.

She shudders, her fingers softly digging into the meat of his shoulders, her body trembling as she fights to stay still.

He breathes her in, and longs to take a bite of her.


	2. Chapter 2

2

She struggles to write as fast as she can, shoving the notebook across the table and tapping it insistently.

Nipa barely glances at it. "He's requested you. Go." There is no sympathy in her voice, but Emi points again at the notebook, her features desperate.

 _Please_. Her small handwriting begs. _Send someone else. I'm scared of him._

The older woman stares at the words on the page for a long moment, her jaw ticking as she thinks. Everyone was scared of Kylo Ren. Many of her medical staff begged to not treat him again after just one or two treatments. He had injured many of them, and she had lost too many to his anger. Of course she felt sympathy for the young mute girl, but this was the longest her staff had gone without injury. 

Nipa had seen it the last time Emi had returned from treating Ren, the flush in the girl's face, the faint red mark on her throat. Emi had been skitterish all week, jumping at any noise following that session. She was sorry that the girl had to endure the unwanted attention, but there were lives at stake. Only Emi had survived so long without injury, and if Nipa had to sacrifice the girls purity to keep herself and others safe, she was sad to say that it was something she could live with.

She pushed the notebook away, and hardened her gaze. "Go, Emi. He's waiting. Med bay one." 

Emi can feel the difference in him as soon as she enters. Something is wrong.

He is facing away from her this time, and she stares at his broad back for a moment before fully entering the room. He doesn't look up the whole time she moves about the room, gathering what she needs for the gash in his arm. That scares her more than his usual stares.

Has she done something? She wonders briefly, setting herself to work on his arm. _Or maybe_ , she thinks with relief, _maybe he's lost interest_. Men usually did. Silence is boring to most. 

In her musing, she loses focus. Her hand slips, and she scrapes the gauze roughly against the wound on his arm. 

She immediately steps back, hearing the hiss of his breath, but his hands are on her already. He pushes her back, against the wall, and standing at his full height, towers over her menacingly. She has to tilt her head all the way back to see his face, and she is scared. She wants to beg forgiveness, but she can't.

 _Please don't hurt me_.

His hands grip her harshly as he breathes above her, and she can feel herself bruising as tears slip out. But something seems to snap in him then, and he suddenly drops to his knees in front of her, and presses himself fully against her. His arms move to wrap around her, his head against her chest, her heart pounding in his ear. 

"Don't be afraid, little dove." She feels his hand push up under the cloth of her shirt, and press itself to the skin of her bare back. "I won't hurt you."

Her knees feel as though they will buckle under the weight of the epithet.

The paleness of his skin is what frightens her most about General Hux. Emi had never met him before this day, and yet he had requested her by name. He has an injury inflicted by Kylo Ren. She works quietly and feels his looks. She tries not to shake.

When he breathes deeply before speaking, she flinches.

"You can't speak?" 

She shakes her head softly, and feels her heart skip. Something in the way he asks feels dangerous, and she tries to make her hands work faster at the stitches on his head. 

"Why does Ren call for you only?"

She reaches for the scissors to cut the thread, and keeps her eyes only on her work.

"What do you do for him?"

She's more scared now than she's ever been with Kylo Ren. There is a venom in Hux's voice, and she can feel his anger. She's felt this anger before. She knows what will happen next.

She cuts the thread, and as soon as she places the scissors back on the tray, she steps back, trying to escape. But his reach is long.

He grabs a handful of her hair as she turns, yanking her back and forcing her to face him. She reaches up, gripping his wrist to try and ease the tension on her scalp, a soft whine managing to escape her broken voice box.

He grips her chin roughly with his other hand.

This is the anger she had expected from Kylo Ren. The kind of anger that her silence seemed to always draw out of men who were so used to getting things from others. When she couldn't offer even a response to them, they often lashed out.

When his yelling is done, his hand leaves a mark on her face that she knows will burn red for days.

Emi is on her way back to her quarters when she passes him. It has been three days since her encounter with the General and her cheek still burns. Though, she hadn't realized it until this moment.

He's wearing the mask so she can't see his face, but she knows somewhere deep inside that he is looking at her. 

She looks away quickly, and struggles to keep her eyes down.

That night, Ren call for her, only this time, he sends two troopers and orders to bring all of her belongings as well.


	3. Chapter 3

3

Nipa can still hear Emi's sobs echoing in her ears. When they came for her, she had turned to Nipa, her eyes begging. The old woman could do nothing though. It was beyond her power. No one could defy Ren.

When Emi realized this, she conceded. She began packing her few items together, sobbing softly as she did so. Nipa stood beside her and offered her the best advice that she could.

"Do as he says. Don't try to fight. He will grow bored and send you back to us."

The truth was that this had happened before, with a few other female staff over the past few years. Kylo Ren, for all his monstrosities, was still a man after all, with the needs of a man. He took interest in the women on board sometimes, though usually his interest faded after a month or two. 

Nipa knows that as she tells the girl this, she doesn't believe it. It has already been several months of Ren's seeming obsession with the mute, and it showed no signs of stopping. Still, it was better to give her hope.

He is there when she is delivered to his quarters. She doesn't look up as she enters, her hands tightly gripping her small bag of belongings, but she can feel his presence somehow.

"Emi."

Reluctantly, she looks up. Her heart feels as though it will burst. He looks different here, in this private place.

"Come here."

He reaches out, palm up and open. He sounds different too. Softer. She finds herself glancing backwards, to the closed door. She's never been alone with him before, not like this. And she's more scared than ever.

When she looks back at him again, he is still waiting, hand out for her. He's in all black, as always, but his clothes now aren't the hard, thick layers that he usually wore, restricting and cold. Instead, they are a kind of warm black, like the inviting darkness of sleep.

Even so, her approach is hesitant.

When at last, she is within reach, his hand curls around her wrist, dragging her the last few feet forward. His other hand removes her bag from her grip, placing it on the floor while his eyes lock onto her hands.

"Don't be afraid, little Dove."

He pulls her closer still, until she is forced to sit on one thick thigh as he wraps an arm around her waist. He is still staring at her hands, taking the time to rub his calloused fingers over each of her own.

Emi cannot help but hold her breath through those long minutes, and when he finally looks up to meet her eye, her breaths are deep and desperate. Ren releases her hands, and his large palm engulfs her burning cheek softly.

"I'll never let anyone else touch you." He leans forward and presses his lips to the hollow space between her collar bones.

Something flutters deep in the pit of her stomach.

Kylo hoped that by the time he returned she would be more relaxed, perhaps even asleep on their bed. But she isn't. Her eyes are closed, and she is laying still on the bed, but she is awake. He can feel her flighty heart pick up as she hears him enter. 

She tenses as he approaches, but he only sits on the edge of the bed, staring at her small form as she tries to remain still. There are no doubts about what she believes will happen now. But he wasn't lying to her. He didn't want to hurt her. That wasn't why he brought her here.

He still couldn't figure it out, why he was so enamoured with her. With the other girls, it had been simple. Their faces, their bodies, some of them had been kind, and some of them had been convenient. But with Emi, it was complicated. He didn't know why he wanted her, but he did. And not only did he want her, but he wanted to protect her, he wanted to touch her, and give her things, and he wanted to take care of her. He wanted to _worship_ her. 

He knew that she was scared, and he understood why. But she would adjust.

 _She has to_ , he thinks, reaching out to touch the exposed skin of her ankle. She jumps, but he only wraps his hand around, gently rubbing the bone that protrudes there. Now that she was here with him, he knew he could never let her go. 

He waits until she is asleep before crawling into bed behind her, reaching out and pulling her back flush against his chest. She is so much smaller than him, he realizes as he holds her. So breakable, he thinks, laying a hand on her hip. He presses his face into her hair and breathes deeply, and hopes that she will make him whole.

It's warm. That is her first thought as she wakes. She burrows into that warmth. In the staff quarters, it is always cold, but she wonders what has changed today. 

The hot hand that shifts underneath her shirt reminds her of where she is. She stiffens immediately, and prays that her shifting did not wake the man behind her. Her prayers go unanswered. She is suddenly on her back, her legs spread wide to accommodate the man who now hovers above her. His hand has moved up, and presses against her sternum to hold her down. 

His other hand is out to his side, holding his activated saber, its sparks flicking out to burn the bedding by her head. She feels a deep pang of fear until she looks into his eyes. _He's not here_ , Emi realizes. Yes, he is there above her, but his mind is elsewhere. His eyes are dark, haunted, his breathing hard. 

_He's scared_.

The saber is moving closer to her face. She can't speak to wake him up. She doesn't know what else to do, so she simply reaches out to touch his cheek. He blinks, and the next few moments happen so quickly she can barely keep up. The saber is deactivated, and then gone, his hand is off her chest and trailing over her body, making sure she isn't hurt, and finally, he wraps himself around her, again uttering that reassurance: "Don't be afraid, little Dove. I won't hurt you."

After a moment, she realizes that she is holding him too.


	4. Chapter 4

4

After a month, she no longer flinches when he reaches for her. He didn't lie. He never hurts her, not with intent. He touches her, constantly. Insistently. If they are near each other, he compulsively extends a hand to touch her. 

Sometimes it is uncomfortable or unwelcome, but never painful.

Emi has begun to trust him, she realizes, as he enters their room. He closes the gap between them, and engulfs her immediately. She has learned to expect this. Though sometimes only gone for a day, each time he comes back is like he has been starved of her affections for years. 

She wonders and worries, often, over how much longer his hunger will be satiated by simple kisses and touching.

Sometimes, like now, she can feel how he fights to hold himself back. His grip on her hips is hard, his tongue hot on the skin of her shoulder before he nips her roughly. When she lets out a soft yelp in response, he moves from her shoulder to immediately offer her a soft kiss on the mouth by way of apology. 

He then removes himself entirely from her, as though unsure that he can hold back. When she meets his eye, she can feel his desire running through her, and she looks away immediately.

She is often scared of his want for her.

"This obsession is making you weak."

Behind the mask, Kylo Ren struggles to keep his thoughts in line. More and more lately, he was straining to reign in his anger, and the Supreme Leader seemed to relish in pushing him to it by prodding at the subject of his mute companion.

"She is becoming a distraction."

Snoke can feel it in the air as Ren's muscles tense up. And he hears it. The monster within the boy rising up and baring its jagged teeth.

"Perhaps it is time to remove her from your care."

The response is automatic. His saber is lit before Snoke can even blink, and his body lunges forward. Snoke allows him to get within a few feet before stopping him. The boy was more like his grandfather than he knew. His need for the girl was obsessive, venomous, dangerous. It would push him further into darkness, just as it did Darth Vader.

Snoke's smile is vindictive. "Control your thoughts, Kylo Ren." He releases him. "Lest I send General Hux to take care of that little hindrance."

Ren's footsteps thunder as he storms out of the room.

It's late. Kylo lays across their bed, his head in her lap. She is running her fingers gently through his hair as he stares blankly ahead. 

She's worried about him. He's been like this for hours now. It's happened before. Usually after he sees the Supreme Leader. But this is worse than usual.

There are not often times when she wishes that she could speak, but this is one of them. She knows that he can catch glimpses of her thoughts sometimes, when he wants to, but when he is lost in himself, like he is now, reaching him would be so much easier if only she could call his name. 

_Kylo_.

Still, he stares into nothing. Her chest feels tight, like she might cry. It makes her hurt inside, when she sees him so torn. She knows somehow, that this is to do with the Force. That push and pull that he struggles so constantly with. As powerful as it makes him, Emi knows how it simultaneously wracks his mind and body to restrain those opposing sides which are always in contention inside himself.

Emi shifts her hand from his hair to his cheek, and wonders when she began to care for him like this.

She leans down, and presses her lips to his temple.

At last, he looks up at her.

"I'll never let anything take you away from me."


	5. Chapter 5

5

Emi hadn't left his quarters since she was brought there all those months ago; food and clothing, anything she requested to fill her time, was brought to her.

This was the first time she had been out, and only for medical attention. She had fallen the day before and sprained her wrist. She probably could have tended to it herself, but he wanted to make sure it was only a sprain. He ordered a trooper to escort her to get it checked and wrapped, and then to bring her straight back.

It was strange, seeing faces other than Kylo's as she moved through the halls. She felt oddly exposed under their curious gazes.

Even seeing Nipa was strange. Her old hands, wrinkled and gentle, felt wrong on her skin; she had grown so used to only the feel of Kylo's touch.

The older woman looked relieved though. "Does he treat you alright?" She asked quietly.

Emi simply nodded. Of course he did. 

A long silence follows as the old woman wraps her wrist deftly, the sureness of decades of experience behind her movements. "I'm sorry." She says finally. "I shouldn't have sent you off so coldly."

Quietly, as Emi does everything, she looks at Nipa for a moment. She realizes that Nipa must have thought the worst, Kylo kept her so private that she couldn't have known her true fate.

Emi shrugs, and smiles at the old woman. What could she have done? What could anyone have done? Against Kylo Ren? It may not have been a life she had chosen, but she was safe, fed, clothed. And he didn't ask for more than she was willing to give. Didn't take what she wouldn't offer.

If she thought about it, she might consider herself happy.

"He doesn't hurt you, does he?" Nipa's face is full of concern.

 _No_ , Emi thought, shaking her head quickly. _Never_.

She is struggling to get off the floor.

Emi had never seen him in action, not really. She had heard stories and seen the aftermath, but never had she been witness to his wrath. It was the first time he had ever been violent with her.

It had only been a miscommunication. But he had been different lately. On edge. 

The trooper who had taken her to see Nipa was escorting her back. They were a couple of feet from the door when it slid open. Kylo was there, mask still on. But she didn't have to see his face to know that something was wrong. He was angry.

And everything happened so quickly.

She stumbled. The trooper caught her arm. She smiled politely as thanks. And then he flew back. Emi fell.

Gasping, she looked to Kylo. His arm was out, holding the trooper in place against the wall as he approached, his steps heavy. He dropped his arm, but the trooper stayed in place, floating a foot up. Choking. Scratching wildly at his throat. He was killing him.

Emi struggled to lift herself off the floor. She had landed on her wrist again. It throbbed painfully.

Kylo turned to her, stretched his palm out to her.

"Come, Emi."

His voice was not the one she was used to. Behind the mask, it was cold, robotic. Cruel.

She looked up to the trooper, and finally managed to push herself up and scramble to the wall. He was still struggling, slowly losing fight. She tried to pull him down, and pleaded, because she knew Kylo was listening.

 _Please. Stop. You're killing him_.

A moment passed. Kylo staring at her through the mask. She looked back at him.

 _Please_. 

His fist clenched. She heard the leather of his glove creak, then a snap. And the crash of armor hitting the floor. She froze. Blinked as tears suddenly filled her eyes. And then closed them. No. She couldn't look.

"Emi." He stepped toward her, and she stumbled back, tripping over the body of the man she had just gotten killed. She sobs as she tries to push herself up again, but then Kylo is there, lifting her off the floor, carrying her back into his room.

She is still sobbing when he drops her on the bed. She didn't understand what had happened. 

"He shouldn't have touched you." His voice changes midway through the sentence as he removes the helmet. Then his cloak.

She is shaking as he moves over her, settling between her clothed thighs like he had so many other nights to lay on her chest. As though nothing had happened. "I told you I'd never let anyone else touch you again." He lays a kiss on her rib cage, just below her breasts. "You're mine. Only mine."

The weight of his need is suffocating.


	6. Chapter 6

6

Every day, he descends further into his obsession. His touches are becoming more desperate. Painful. He holds her as though she will slip from his grip any moment. Emi is scared, as her refusals begin to be brushed aside.

They kiss, and when she presses her hands to his chest to stop him from deepening it further, he steps forward instead of back, locking her hands between them and letting his roam.

She tries to pull his hands off of her chest at night, and he brushes them away roughly.

He leaves marks on her neck and chest because when she pulls at his hair to get him off, he bites harder.

He wants so much more now, and she is afraid of what he will take. It was only a matter of time now.

She is trembling beneath him. He rocks into her and she clenches involuntarily. Her tears are dry on her cheeks.

He kisses her. Gentler than he has any right to be after how roughly he took her.

As always, after meeting with the Supreme Leader, he had been volatile. She was wary as soon as he stepped in the door and removed the helmet. But she hadn't been prepared.

The kiss had quickly escalated, and she pushed against him. He only stepped into her space, forced her to step back until she fell against the bed. When her eyes met his, she knew what was about to happen. She would have screamed if she could. 

She kicked and shoved. But he was so much larger than her, so much stronger. It took very little effort for him to subdue her. It felt like no time at all before he had her bare before him. She is crying so much that she can barely see him through her tears. And when he pushed into her, it felt like she was being torn in half. She stops fighting, afraid to hurt herself further.

He kisses her through it. And Emi kisses him back. Anything to distract her from his painful intrusion. And when he pulls back, she feels relief, so un-knowledgeable in these things that she thinks that may be it. But then he begins pushing back in, and she presses her hands to his hard abdomen, trying to stop him again. He grabs her hands and pushes them into the bed on either side of her head.

"You're mine. Only mine."

And she nods, tears silently slipping out of the corner of her eyes. Yes. Because of course she was. She could only ever have been his. Kylo Ren had possessed her so completely from the moment that they met. Somewhere along the way, she had accepted that this is what fate had in store for her. 

And somewhere along the way, she realized that she loved him.

There are still times when he is kind like he was in the beginning. Intense, yes, but kind. He brings her hands up to touch his face, and whispers sweet things to her. He tells her that he wants to take her far away. Away from the fighting and the rebellion and the power. To a quiet place where they can be normal.

"I wish I had the strength to change." He tells her. 

And Emi latches onto that. _You do_ , she holds his face between her small hands and kisses him, the way she would if they were normal.

_Please take me away from here._

But he doesn't. They are both trapped in this love.

**Author's Note:**

> Purely fanfiction. If you find yourself in a real relationship like this, please get help. It's not healthy.


End file.
